Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/rhod rhod_20140712-1818b.mp3

Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, the best bits of his Saturday morning show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, Rhod's a little bit sick__ __ / in a plane / Chris / joined by Eggzy / Goldie Lookin Chain

You know, sometimes do this show / this is one of the ones we have been blessed by the, uh, broadcasting gods / 'cause we have loads of stuff / very strong show / massive show this week / So, I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna set up some pre-prepared features / sort of, just / along / traditionally / good / pre-prepared ones. / OK. / if you need anything to / ghost / robot / man / just / look, un ... nothing on those / gadgets / strong / we're getting / good / good start / throw them out now / huh huh / then we will go into / play a song / see what / reaction / whichever / listener likes, they can / talks / what I mean by that is that / what / moments when you have felt the most old compared to your age. / Right, OK, OK, yeah. / Next, World Cup. The world cup is nearing an end / world cup fever / your favorite non-sporting moment? I don't mean / has nothing to do with football but associated with the World Cup / OK, yeah. / most hope for / yeah / what is your post-bath drying routine? I have a 100% ... I noticed, / yeah / 100%-consistent drying habit, what order do you dry yourself in once you're out of the bath / what order do you dry body parts in? / the same / I'm suggesting / use / phrase / important / the key dump areas. / Yeah. / OK / couple of others / go to an old favorite of ours / Nearly Convincing Impression Shout-out ... this is / other one / pretty well / b__ standard / birthday or something or literally anything / yeah / then me and Eggzy / say / out loud in a voice of your choice / in the past, we had / professor Brian Cox / yeah / we had Morgan Freeman / yeah / a couple of other guys / Ringo S__, John H__, and / __ from __ Batman film.

jextaposed with you / lovely / floating along / yeah / isn't it? / what do you picture? / let's play this game. Think of something that you picture / song / same time / one, two, three, / OK, yeah. / a bit like paper sci__ stone / same time / one, two, three / me in an orange beach buggy with g__ / animals / riding across the beach / close / faster / something like that as well, __ __ amazing / was the same, and / way better / it was good. I like the idea. I've got an obsession / makes me / orange beach buggy from __ 70's, cruising / you might drive past / some white horses / for a while you / travelling at the same speed as them / slide / burn off. / 'cause I would have gone / stop / a little icecream van / not necessarily / be good / check this out. One of the horses is Pegasus__ / flies alongside you / yeah / feeding it at the same time / slow down. Got to feed the __ / amazing / here's the thing / ok / hang on / count __ three / one, two, three / sheepskin / for me / on a hat / trousers / very different / so, very different, you know / even / boiling-hot / but / super-cool / yeah / is he wearing shades / yes or no. Hang on / one, two, three / eye-patch / he's got an eye-patch / welcome to the show. This is / strong beginning to the show / sitting in for Rhod, and, uh, Eggzy's co-hosting with me, and / as you can see / very different approach / the joy of the human mind conbined with / basic chats / yes / Eggzy / human mind ... So, Eggz, we set up some features / yeah / against, uh, convention. And we've thrown out a number of features / so, what is post-bath drying routine? This is the one, I'm suspicious, might peak the interest / people / I have / routine / myself / same way for the last ... I think, probably, 30 or so years / OK. So, you've got / technique / rock-solid / technique / not conscious. I've just developed / just the natural way you / I have a routine / should / yes / ok, so, um, I get out of bath, I dry my hair, / OK / Hair, #1 / top, yes / slip down onto face, #2, / Right, / left armpit / dominant right hand / yeah / then back / this is / ninja move. I flick it over / back / towel / shoulder / you do the samba-towel technique / samba-towel ... / back / I wish there was / monkey version / that'd be ... that would be amazing / every day / wow, yeah / towel over right shoulder / down / bottom / back drying / nice / I don't reverse it. I do not flip it round the other way / OK. / so, I dry / that way, yeah? / right. / then important areas, then / Wow. So, / variation of __ __ here / huh huh / when it comes to / because I don't like the idea of s__ing around / my / sure / but I will shower on a regular basis / huh huh / in this hot weather, sometimes / crazy / enjoy your water, Eggz / of water / when I get out of the shower, / OK, / I have two techniques / OK. Egzzy One: / one is what I call "The Game of __" technique, / Sure. / it's a great technique. I get out of the shower / yeah / now the towel is, imagine, / pretty much the equivalent to a single bed sheet / you know, that / size / big / almost beach towel / almost beach towel. I like / smaller than that / OK / something across the front / coala bear with a sun shade / I got it. / You know. So, I place the towel over my shoulder like a cape. Can you imagine that? / almost like / secure it around here, like this, right? Then I walk / get bored __ dry my arms, and then I put it on like a skirt, pretend to be some sort of Hawa__an dude / skirt / yeah / yeah / and then eventually I get bored or someone knocks the door / told / just put on my clothes / secondly, just completely naked / listen to / just / in touch / rhod__ / can you tell us what your post-bath or -shower / drying routine is? / yes / ... Because I think everyone does mine / same / do you recreate Game of / afer the bath? Let us know. 8 10 12 on the text.

shout out. "Morning, __ and Eggzy / please / to bride-to-be Lisa M__ / hen-do / in Blackpool today / yes, we can, as long as you ask for / voice / shall be keeping / news later / nice / perhaps Ringo S__ may be appropriate, as he / this person / Blackpool hen-do. Could he give her a shout out / what's the name? Lisa M__ / first time / impression / toilet this morning / did you? / give it a go / genuinely / view / show / good acoustic in the bathroom. / I was in there / about / 25 minutes / nothing else to do / good place to practice / on a hen-do in Blackpool / I'm Ringo S__. When I'm not __ __ in __ __ __ I'd like to say hello to Lisa M__ __ / wrote a song about / octopus. I've been / O__'s Garden on several occasions. / wow / do you know what, Eggz? / yeah, yeah / you are good at these. / __ __, very big fan / "Hi, __ and Eggzy / it is truely a nice day. Listener 35 here in London / get to listen live / Ah, welcome / can I have a Morgan Freeman / my husband Dug / taking on his first permanent teaching post on the 1st of September. His / so much fun / and learning, of course. / thank you, D__ / yes / lovely / Morgan / Dug, is it? / yeah / Dug didn't realize that it was the first permanent teaching job he'd ever take on. He realize that / probably / in a pub instead / much better / "When I first met Dug, I was introduced __ __ __ ... And I realized / decision made / go / teaching / possibly the worst decision / ever made in his life / but I wished him luck. And I knew that one day / able to discuss / how / wether / too much ... assessment / which / kids never learn / time table / that summer. Dug was too busy lying underneath / sleeping / pub last night / See? That is ... wait a minute, that is M__ W__ or somebody / you know / that's / famous actress / who was in / B__ Jane / yeah / know that / two really famous actresses / Betty ... Betty ... / yes, it's her. / oh, dear / Anyway / very good / good, strong, strong / called ... wait a minute, uh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute / gave a name to it / Nearly Convincing Impression Shout-out / yeah / catchy name / impression feature / punchy / Yeah, puncy.

Corky and Eggzy, can you do a shout out for Kate and Dave, venturing to S__ / need / Dave / yes / venturing / in pursuit of c__. / C__? / No explanation. / OK. Yeah. That's fine. / u__ gun / stable / yeah / again, no explanation, although I'm assuming they're linked. / OK. Kate and Dave. Yeah. / can we get some advice from Arnie? / what we should look for / yeah / now, when they / said / what / so, you might want to, if that's a bit of a sticky-wicky__ / I don't know how well versed / staple guns / or the types of / might look / OK. So, um, Nearly Convincing Impression Summer Shout-out, uh, cue Arnie / OK. "Kate and Dave, you probably need / why not try some sort of / outfit like a warehouse, or maybe a friend's garage / chopper now / and if you / get on the back of the bike. / my eyes / goggles / nothing for my eyes

also / running, Eggz, is / post-bath drying routine" pre-prepared feature that I thought / gonna go / everyone / turns out / no one really gives a m__ / two ... two responses / probably only about 18 people / you know / quite high / pretty good, yeah. / just explain / tuned in, so, I have got a very consistent drying habit once I get out of the shower or bath / huh huh / do / same / just realized / "doing it" / for years / must have been doing it for years / I've developed / muscle__ memory / towel / you are in there / it's not conscious thing, is it? / dry / hair, then face / back / down / don't reverse it then, important areas, then left legs and right legs and feet / Eggzy goes, out of bath / cape over shoulders, like a super hero / then put towel on __ skirt, then have effectively air-dried / important areas, or / take a / listen to / Lead Z__ / very quickly / sure / sometimes / Game of __ / with a robe / yeah / come out of the bathroom / kitchen / previously / French stick / out / attack myself in the mirror, / sure / hit myself in the face. / do you find when / with the towel on like a cape from The Game of __, / you venture into having disagreement / other realms / Yeah, I mean / whole feudal system / into it / sometimes / peasants / fight off the landowner / peasants / burn everything / I, kind of, like, uh, like amulgamation__ / of all / Lord of the Rings / I might just / tax / protection. You know / that kind of thing / a__ of all ... fantasy / a medival fantasy, I think / way I describe my post-shower behavior / but if you turned your house / into / equivalent / equivalent of __ __ / what would be the area / you own, and what's the area / you really fancy / hands on / Good question there. Uh, I think ... I think, essentially I want ... / I might have the s__, but I want ... I want all / yes / naked __ walking around / slightly dump / sometimes with a French stick / right / so, there you go / in touch / nice / he says, "Hiya, guys / you dry / top to the bottom / finishing / on the floor / here's the question for you / in a sense / I think that's probably / anybody / I dry from the top to the bottom / maybe / interesting / body parts / was / here's the question for you," says / from Cardiff / what is the inside of soap made of? / one of our favorite features / you Ask Eggzy / of course / which is / all of the questions, some of the answers / any of your issues / slightly less interesting issues / fun issues / I'll give you an answer / not necessarily the right answer / but an answer / yes / all of the questions / some of the answers / from the street-philosopher perspective / what is the inside of soap made of? This is / Ask Eggzy now / because no matter how you use it, you / you can never / bubbles from it, compared to a new bar. / Ah ... OK / interesting. Um ... for me / question / very / M__ / made of / M__, to me, is mashmalo__ __ the inside / thin layer of jam / soap / almost mashmaro__-based / high alk__ content / yeah / man / mixed with ... uh ... something of a high alkaline__ content / I don't know, / science lab, something along those lines / milk / based / and also partially dreams / OK. / partially made of dreams / that / also / satire on the show / surreal way / what politicians do / huh huh / politicians / safe turf / yes / which was / M__ made of / all of the questions, some of the answers. Great stuff, guys.

some response / bath-drying routine / talking of bathing and washing / old / re-create / filling up / empty shampoo bottle with water, and / pouring / myself / toilet / we can't control it, we can't control it, we're sinking / great times. But / bar / you've just reminded me, / huh huh / re-created / mining in bed / pretend to be a miner / yeah yeah yeah / should do / pretend / head / then / have to turn around / go down / I imagine / really really thin __ of coal / Brilliant, yes. / out / Awesome / the other side / what have been a fairly neatly __ __ of coal / with a backet of imaginary coal / now you're talking / another one very quickly / this is great / get into / bed / smaller than / each / terrible fear of severed hand / dragged me / another dimension / near / many times / still / adult / difference between / mine and Eggzy's / wonderful memories / I was, uh, affected heavily by the fact / another dimension

Eggz, / yeah / do / shout-out, OK? / Summer Shout Out where you can just / send / do / do / funny, uh, funny sort of / funny / Nearly Convincing Impression / voice / for / moderately entertained / this is / simply / can I have a shout out / pub singer / ta / I introduce / Working Men's Club / MC / you / very short sort of / Matt / shout out / anybody / job done. Happy with that? / yeah / right / pipe / please / best of order. Thank you / put it down. Thank you. What's that? Right. now / get / shut up now / best of order / having words / don't bring our problem with our __ garden / into this ven__ / nothing / listen / guest singer spot / best of order / thank / lovely / sing / for us today / you all know him. I don't know him. But / lots of / may be rubbish, but, uh, / here he is, / Eggzy / very popular band I'm sure you've all heard of / which / looks / I'd love your tiny smile. I'd / hang / while / thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen / thank you / awesome / best of order

now, Eggzy / now / hang / bananas / bit of a __ / be / fake / yes / show / Rhod's / ill / and, uh, so, we've got loads / correspondent / response. So, / just open the bedroom window / dry me / no longer speak / wonderful / also / like / that technique / down in it / you can do whatever you want / Tom Newton says / how about hair-dryer drying? / Good. / imagine / a bit / gym / so / go into / no exercise / just go into the gym / shower / out / dry hair / whole body / environmentally-not-sound / terrible / that's what I'm saying / cheaper version / Chris / exactly / same technique / but, if I became a mi__, / huge man-sized hair dryer." See? / walk / moment / dry myself exactly the same as you / live / change / butler to do it / face-lift / like you / become you / this / interesting one / ready for this? / go / my boyfriend, __, insists drying in the bathroom / swift movement of towel / in a samba-style / Ah, OK / like / yeah / mean / little bit, you know / wow / drying process / stage 1 / whipping it / between his legs in one movement / dry all crucial ... / Barry M__ / like / wonderful / I have seen that technique / for / a number of years / seen / kind / know / classic techniques / how I feel about it / from Brist__ / heading to / I'm not sure / think / unusual / bloke to do this / very conventional / get in touch and let me know / rugby player / really / go / there you go / mind / funny now, you know / never / all / myself / private / show / as far as I'm concerned / so many different / you / deeper / one keyword / use / shout / Arnie / Arnie / old son, Eddie / big / Eddie / climbing a football shed / hang / landed / ouch / looks like a little man / Eddie / got / gummy__ toe / shout out / from Martine / Eddie, you / after dropping / on / dad / man / I'm not / dead / in the meantime, put down your / get / on the chopper

too much, too young / rhod / chris __ and Eggzy / short / Rhod / because / himself / hello / Oh, mate / what / yeah / I just couldn't be bothered / suspicious / like that / lovely / have / a bit / understand / fitness test / swimming test / swimming / sea / then / fast-jet / Top-gun / So, is that / made / imagined / go up / just / effect / I / well / I've lost count / week / I took eight / yesterday / came back with most of them fairly full / back up / Never. / do / next / all / me / great / wonderful experience / many people would love / miles an hour / force / drive this thing / I don't think it's for me / sound / upside / barrel / stuff / we were supposed to. We were supposed to / but / I / sort / premature end to the whole thing / thing / by losing control / think / feet / lost / those things / quite expensive / little / I've been ... I don't know, / at least two hours training / fine / matter / are / controls / driving lesson / they are exactly / car / one in front of the other / very / Nissan M__ / except / few / seat behind each other / available, obviously / in half / yeah / behind each other / above / 600 miles an hour / soon / your head becomes / wow / this sounds awesome. / it is a bit like / driving / bit faster / picture / when / with your dad when you were nine / in charge / car / I didn't do that, mate / your father / better / nine years old / shocking behavior. / one / wales / in the field / looking / car / out of order / let's move on / mate / we should congratulate you / spill / beans / very / did manage to anounce it / while I was / completely / single interview about it, not / anyone / bbc / to everybody / you're gonna be / host / new regular full-time host / institution / very intimidating / series / 28 / five years / they said / like what you did / shout / looking for a permanent host / phone-call / move / faster / level with you / five years / forgotten / ready / leave you / realize that, you boys / some / watching television / as long as / competent / mate / absolutely / commit__ as well / Radio Wales / take care / build / 20 listeners. / right / all / touch / ok / sure they have / guys / take it easy / there you go / explains / bit more time / emails / flooded / here / best ones, Eggzy / boys / 5 a.m. / totally worth it / no / your / routine feature / as a woman / hair first / towel / as / for the day / nice touch / reasons / ancient female / probably / a lot harder to get off / good point / Brian / around the head / before / her name / what's your name, love? / __ / fantastic

/ if / why / whole show / every Saturday morning / BBC Radio Wales, from 11 till 1.